Now I pray, My prayers not heard. Could it be your deaf, Deaf to mortal word?
I had already lit the bridge to every single person in my life. I had been arrested once though that would not be the last time. I had already lived in my car and then lost my car and lived, well, wherever I was, however I was. By this time, I had already lost my grip, completely and utterly. I was at a homeless shelter in Indianapolis that has since closed. I was sitting out on the back patio having a smoke and I found myself chuckling at the irony in that I had one of the best views of a skyline someone could hope for and the only price I had to pay was everything, in total. I had headphones in and was listening to Dave and Tim, I had probably been a fan for 3-4 years by this point. The song that was playing this night was Stay or Leave and it lifted me up and taken me away from where I was standing on that brutally cold February night.
Now I pray My prayers not heard Could it be your deaf Deaf to mortal word
The next day felt like it might be a change in the game. I was to meet with the director of the mission about an opportunity that he felt I would be able to use to rise and reclaim my life. He did not mention much but I knew that it was someone he knew. I assumed he was a good man because you must be a good man for a head of the homeless mission to owe you a favor, right? I knew this person was building a new house, a massive house and needed help with the
comings and goings of everything that comes with building something on this scale. Bob, the leader of the mission, told me that I would be living on site and helping with all of the contractors coming in and out, the deliveries that would be arriving at a daily, if not hourly, basis. Things had to stay on schedule and must be finished to perfection. A different place to say sounded nice, I was living with 250 other homeless men so some privacy was something I could not pass up. On top of the place, I would also have a stipend each week to take care of my necessities and to save up for when the job was over.
Maybe I would not even need to go back to the mission if I played my cards exactly right. There was one problem. There was no house. No job. No opportunity, only a betrayal by a man the upper echelon of the community trusted. The only thing waiting for me was an introduction to crack cocaine, betrayal from a man I and a whole community admired and a near call of rape. As I went to bed that night, always with my headphones in, Deed is Done came creeping into my ears and it filled up my heart up with trepidation, as well it should because it was a warning to
GET THE FUCK OUT! RUN! NOW!
To be continued...
Oh and so we hold Can you not hear Can you not see And if with words You could change the way Things are arranged Surely you'd be speaking Seeking no change